where i am still a heart,

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:51:23 GMT

All of a sudden she rose, feeling the bed around her. Incredibly better state of sheets; she thought. Behind her eyelids, the world fluttered. Everything seemed to balance on the verge of demise, hovering in a place in which one couldn't feel. Air came through a crack in the window, and the generated wind, humid in the afternoon simmer, tensed on the tears on her face. The bedsheets crumpled in waves, touching the figure positioned in an awkward coil.

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:39:04 GMT

i live, gently,
in the grass of your palm,
inside of you, and when things
bang on the roof asking for answers,
i'll tighten into the very tinge of humanity
scrawling on the walls of barricades and reason

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:30:21 GMT

disappear just any minute. so faint, in this tinge of life... curling inferiority in the face of the universe. what's true to life?

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:18:12 GMT

I dont feel like being anywhere else. i miss xanga. & once again the questions flood me and I'm rooted to the ground, staring at the surfaces of life. missing that somebody whom i used to wish with.

Live

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:12:08 GMT

Hey Jing,

I think of us from time to time. I always find myself in the same situation where I miss everything, and I know why too. But we're live in such distant worlds now, while I'm guilty that I never reply to your initiatives. I shan't be any longer, the time for release is soon and I hate to regret my often unwise decisions - see you soon.

Love

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:08:21 GMT

Zenn does 20 pull-ups twice a day, (but is unable to perform in front of me) 7 muscle-ups, and 4 one arm push-ups. He remembers to tell me this a few times a day. I hate the army.

Um.. yeah awkward.. yeah that's totally not a love bite dude. Just some monster rash that won't go away... Ok.

I was so annoyed with sewing the velco patch to his uniform.. that he took this picture on photobooth. :)
Eh, ask him about the funny name he gave me.

Yeah I love my BOYFLEN. x 19472937423 because of army.

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 14:38:53 GMT

I'm cast about about life. Does everything seem detached because I want it to be or is everything? I'm not saying anything, I'm not afraid of being alone, but who is there? Z is away. What is unheard of?

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:44:16 GMT

what an itchy itching bitchy, emotions

and those of others are something i could live without. life needs a fullstop to them cause my measuring cup is brokeeeeeeehhhhnnnn. I'm fated to be a mute so so be it here.

I don't know about fashion anymore, i can't imagine me doing this all my life.

& I don't know about people anymore. I can't trust anyone

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:33:40 GMT

The future is a myriad of dizziness, suddenly fashion doesn't seem like the door I'd imagine myself to be walking through.. I've not have had any spiritual satisfaction for a time too long and my mask of sanity is slowly slipping. I'm not there when we laugh about the mundane and the commonplace, I'm simply not there

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 22:53:51 GMT

Bring me to the edge of pain
knowing my
self disappearances in the midst of drawing
the lines of a tear-
shaped to sing alongst the crashing of forever

There is nothing to say, there is nothing more I can prove, there is nobody I want to be anything with no more. I am dead to the world, stubborn

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 11:31:42 GMT

"And now, here, where I am writing still, still in this chair, hammering type like tacks into the page, speaking without a listening ear, whose eye do I hope to catch and charm and fill with tears and understanding, if not my own ordinary, unforgiving and unfeeling eye?"

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:12:36 GMT

http

Orange

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 18:11:19 GMT

I haven't seen colour
I live in a monochromatic world

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:55:48 GMT

Why do pictures have to be “crazy” or “beautiful” to be good?

Part of my struggle with photography has to do with the narrow appreciation people have for it. Quite often, photography is measured only by its novelty or beauty (in some cases, both), neglecting any of the other functions it is capable of, such as the expression of opinion, or in some cases just simple “thought.” People often don’t know what to make of images that are neither particularly shocking nor beautiful, resulting in their dismissal and assessment as simply being uninteresting. They compulsively seek some kind of “wow” factor, and in its absence they find little value in the work. Apart from novelty and beauty (perhaps also technical perfection, or “amazing detail”, which is a form of novelty), all other criteria generally seems unimportant or non-existent, which I believe forces some photographers to involuntarily apply a layer of “wow” to their work just to make it more palatable. Unfortunately, this risks consuming the entire work, as it pushes everything else to the side. Trying to figure out where to draw the line is difficult. And when paired with a daily bombardment of all things beautiful for beauty’s sake, it inevitably gives me nausea. So, I have to say I really enjoy it when I see work that finds a nice balance (or even just approaches it). It’s like drinking a nice glass of water after drinking Diet Coke all day.

-990000

Is he willing? Can he play?

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:45:00 GMT

I'm in love with your brother
What's his name?
I thought I'd come by
To see him again
When you two danced
Oh what a dance
When you two laughed
Oh what a laugh
Has he mentioned my age love?
Or is he more into young girls with dyed black hair?
I'm in love with your brother
I thought I'd come by

I'm in love with your brother
Yes I am
But maybe I shouldn't ask for his name
And you danced
Oh what a dance
And you laughed
Oh what a laugh
Does he know what I do?
And you'll pass this on, wont you?
And if I ask him once what would he say?
Is he willing?
Can he play?

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:53:27 GMT

=(

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 05:59:04 GMT

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 11:32:44 GMT

And its only tuesday. I can't find the light in this tunnel.

Ouija

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:11:43 GMT

If, or if there could be.

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 16:05:41 GMT

Breaths we all need from time to time. Once again, I feel completely elevated. Thoughts drifting to the people I know, and knew. I love you guys and the difference you have made.

Or the difference I have failed to make.

I still can't get over the 'No. 2' branding. Of course I felt the way I guess you wanted me to feel, I don't know what I did still. What can I say to tell you I genuinely care?

Sense, and heart strings.

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:24:04 GMT

What draws the line?

I guess I already know, and I'm waiting for nothing.

Two steps behind, but it's okay.

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 07:00:51 GMT

"You see people sweat. You see them breathe. They can offend and hopefully terrify you, and on a good night, you'll laugh, and you'll cry."

Cate

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:13:54 GMT

"I have zero control. I couldn't pay my rent this summer because I had to have the Balenciaga gladiators in every color available."

Vivienne Westwood Amour Ring

Kria ear jewelry

Givenchy

Cold nights. So my mac charger serves to warm my feet. My existence feels surreal; today I finished a skirt - what a feat, rushed to Parkway with Zenn with the intention of treating ourselves for Christmas(?) but the shops failed us, rushed into Borders right before they closed and snatched up a nasty 65 sum that I have yet to read till now... And my progress in school equals to none at all, so once again, the night is left for me to ask myself just the same questions.

Aliens (Klaaaaatu) and alienation.

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 18:37:02 GMT

- 3, 2, wah so fast.

- Lack of calcium ( Undeveloped fangs/ horribly crooked teeth/ BOO :( )

- Weeee... (Yes, I am Clarion Wee.)/ (Yep, ask Zenn.)

No, we do not have sex all day. I can't seem to find anything to document with my cameras. I love Yves.

"I can't deal with this now."

hello__indiependent@hotmail.com — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:10:21 GMT

Why can't I see it from your point of view? I can't count the nights I hurt anymore.